Pay as much attention to what is good, as to what isn't
Noticing problems and errors and pointing them out spontaneously
generally requires little effort. Focusing on the qualities of an
action or attitude, or observing the process by which things
function smoothly, requires on the other hand a less natural
kind of attention. However without this panoramic attention, which aims
at seeing objectively, no constructive feedback is
possible!
Still, be wary: it is not a matter of offering a compliment in
order to prepare the way for a reproach. It is rather to be engaged with
each point, really and for its own sake, whether it be
positive or negative.
A reproach ("you don't...", "you can't...", "you're too...")
often produces the reverse effect of that intended: it's antagonizing,
puts your co-worker on the defensive and diminishes the
motivation to change. It is better to replace it with a clear
demand, which gains in legitimacy by projecting toward the future rather
than complaining about the past. Of course, the demand
may be based upon a situation which is demonstrably
unsatisfactory, but when expressed from the angle of "doing better in
the future", it takes on a different meaning.
Charged with multiple tasks, with emergencies to handle, we
sometimes forget the "why" of our actions. Constructive feedback
resituates our accomplishments in their context, evokes or
redefines the direction, the meaning: Why do we do this? What do
we expect from it? What would happen if... ?